How do you know if you’re with a Toxic Romantic Partner?
What is Toxic? Toxic is something that is not good for you, something that makes you sick.
Sometimes we get caught up in relationships that make us sick- not only emotionally but also physically sick.
When we are fully invested in a relationship, often times, we don’t want to admit that something doesn’t feel right. We talk ourselves into believing that all is well, and we tolerate bad behavior because we don’t want to be alone.
We become addicted to unhealthy dynamics because they feel familiar-and what feels familiar we think is safe, even if it isn’t.
Every time we find ourselves STRUGGLING in relationships, it is very likely that we are not being true to ourselves. We abandon ourselves in order to keep the person and we begin to adjust to what they want so that they don’t leave.
Not fun at all! I know these types of relationships because I have been in them myself.
The good news is…
The turning point from Toxic Relationships to Healthy Relationships begins with YOU.
You must become very clear about the type of relationship that you want and what your NON NEGOTIABLES are.
Once you know this with every cell of your being, you must commit to them one hundred percent – And I mean one hundred percent!
Tolerating bad treatment, lack of respect, and invalidation of your emotions from your partner SHOULD NOT be a “negotiable.” Once you allow this type of interaction in the beginning stages of the relationship, you will see it again later without a doubt. At that point, your heart is so invested in the relationship that it’s hard to leave — and that is why most people settle.
When I work with clients that are struggling in their relationship, I notice that their biggest block is their lack of clarity. They get used to the relationship being DYSFUNCTIONAL and don’t even realize that they have lost themselves and their truth along the way.
They get to a point where they don’t even know who they are without the other person and continue to make up excuses for their partner’s poor behavior.
They settle for less than what they desire because they don’t think they are worthy of healthy love. They don’t even think it’s possible to create that type of ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP.
Once you begin to reclaim yourself, your truth and your self – esteem, you will become more clear about what you want and what you need to walk away from.
Here are some examples of a TOXIC PARTNER in case you’re stuck with one:
- A toxic partner doesn’t care about your feelings and every time you express yourself you feel invalidated.
- A toxic partner is not interested in doing any inner work to grow with you.
- A toxic partner will never make you a priority in his/her life.
- A toxic partner is more concerned about getting his/her needs met rather than understanding yours.
- A toxic partner will love and adore you as long as you agree with them and don’t rock the boat.
- A toxic partner will show very little or no interest at all in getting to know your loved ones.
- A toxic partner is usually very charming and generous; However, their love is always conditional.
- A toxic partner will be constantly threatening to leave you when things don’t go his/her way.
- A toxic partner is committed to staying the same and shows zero interest in learning how to meet your needs.
It is absolutely ridiculous to think that there is not a partner out there that can handle you expressing yourself, being healthy. being happy— but sometimes being sad, angry— ALL OF WHO YOU ARE.
That’s why we are here, to be all of who we are. You don’t have to suppress parts of yourself to be with someone. If they can’t accept all of you, have high integrity and walk away.
The more you are true to yourself, the more you will create space for the person that is right for you. The person that will HONOR and ADORE you for who you truly are.
Cheers to love,