The other day at a seminar I made a declaration. I stood up and in the presence of other 50 professional coaches I claimed “I am a powerful woman” I sat down and my negative inner talk got activated.
I thought, If I claim that in public— I now really have to live up to it!
The ego has its own agenda and doesn’t like change. Any kind of declaration that requires you to show up differently is a major threat to the ego.
You see, we are always trying to protect our self-image because it is who we believe we are. We protect it, defend it and support it with habits and rituals that keep it in place. We do this unconsciously because it’s what we know. And what we know feels safe and comfortable even if it isn’t.
I think I already knew what I was declaring, doing so made it more real — because that meant I was now being held accountable to my words and actions. That meant I really had to embrace it fully.
For me, being a powerful woman means I get to choose today what I do with my old story, I get to show up in a way that feels more exciting and empowering to me, I get to reset my script and literally create a new one that supports the woman I choose to be today.
Resetting the story of YOU is not irresponsible, it is responsible to say the least.
It can be simple but it’s never easy to do. You have to want a different reality badly. Otherwise, you will do nothing about it and your old paradigm will continue to run your life.
When you begin to move into what you want from a place of conscious awareness, all of your fears will come up to the surface—it’s almost predictable and there is no way around this. Real growth comes from challenging the beliefs that keep us stuck. It comes from taking ACTION.
For example, last weekend I led a workshop for 6 powerful CEO men. If someone had told me 8 years ago that I would be doing this today, I wouldn’t have believed them.
One of the most profound beliefs I carried in the past was that men are more powerful than women. I always felt intimidated around powerful men, I made myself small and almost invisible—because I didn’t want to seem stupid or not enough.
That never felt good but it’s what I knew. When we don’t have the deep awareness that we can change, the story feels real to us— So I believed it and life kept presenting me with people and situations that confirmed just that. ”You are not powerful enough and men are better than women”.
Well, I have ran multiple experiments the last 8 years of my life by doing things that are extremely uncomfortable. Like speaking in front of big audiences, leading workshops and programs, being radically authentic about my journey, serving clients powerfully (including men) All in service to integrate what I choose to belief today.
Last Saturday at the workshop my old paradigm/story didn’t show up in the least bit. This event helped me realize once again that we have the capacity to integrate a different truth at any given time.
We have to challenge our limiting beliefs by taking radical action into something that feels extremely uncomfortable. This is how we integrate the new belief system— by doing things we never thought possible.
The simple act of choosing to do the uncomfortable will not only stretch you immediately but will also give you information about the direction you need to take next.
Fear will always come up and so what? Bring the Fear with you and do what you need to do anyway.
Here is an exercise that will support you:
1) What is one thing you would like to improve in your life right now?
2) What are the beliefs that you hold around this particular thing that you want?
3) Do those beliefs empower you or disempower you?
4) What new truth do you need to create right now that would support what you want?
5) What can you do to integrate this new truth? What actions do you need to take?
As always, please let me know how it goes for you.
I welcome any questions or comments. Feel free to email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org